Crossing Fingers!

Remember back in November, when I interviewed with Clipper Cruise Line, they told me I'd be better suited for the Passenger Sales Rep position rather than the Coordinator position I was interviewing for? Well, I just saw on the website that the PSR position is apparently open. EEK! How long has that been posted?? I panicked a little, wondering if I should drive over there on my lunch break to drop off my résumé, but today is a jeans day and I'm not really dressed appropriately to walk into their office as a candidate for employment. So I decided to e-mail HR, and ask if my résumé was still on file (sending an updated version just in case). We will see what happens.

I feel as though I have bungled a lot of things in my quest for employment with this company. Last time I forgot to send a follow-up letter. That is such a faux-pas that I should have avoided, given my current line of work. (I help other people get jobs... I should know this stuff!!!) My first interview with them in February of this year was not the best. I was actually planning on sending them a letter sometime soon, to say that I was still interested in the PSR position should it ever open, and now it is. Gaahh. Hope they still give me a chance!! I've got some training under my belt now, plus an awesome reference in my teacher, so hopefully that will help me.... like I said, fingers crossed!!

Christmas Overview

My holiday break consisted of spending about five days at my parents' house. Overall, not too bad. I got to see my nephews Brandon and Ryan, who are 4 (almost 5) and 3 respectively, and it was nice to see how they are doing at this stage in their lives. I rarely get to see them. I also got to meet my baby niece Emma. She is an absolute doll. She laughed and smiled more than she screamed and cried, and she was quite a screamer! She is usually a very happy baby and loves people. She was fun to be around. The boys got to be a handful at times, but boys will be boys, right?

On Christmas Eve, we went to Mass at 5:00, so that we could skip it in the morning. Later we did our customary "open one gift the night before" tradition. Of course the boys wanted to start a new tradition: "Let's open TWO presents the night before!", but we didn't let that happen. Once the boys were in bed, their parents wrapped up some of their gifts in color-coded tissue paper (green for Brandon, red for Ryan, and pink for Emma) so that in the morning, they'd know whose was whose.

So Christmas morning, it was fun to sit back and watch the boys tear into their presents with giddy delight... they loved all their presents, particularly the ones having to do with firetrucks and firemen, and the "Rescue Heroes" toys. They loved to run around saying, "I'm a very brave HERO!!" "Hero" was undoubtedly their favorite word, maybe second only to "You know what?"

Most of the rest of the time I spent at my parents was spent lounging around eating. And eating. And eating. And playing with the kids. And eating some more. Sheesh. Now that the holiday break is over, I'm so ready to start taking this weight off. I feel like a lazy slob!

Today was a bit different, though. We took the kids to The Magic House, a huge children's museum that Brandon and Ryan had been to during their last visit to St. Louis, and liked so much that they actually remembered it. There, we could pretty much stand back and let the kids do their own thing. It was nice, actually. That place is way cool... especially if you're under 5 years old. :) We exhausted ourselves on only the first floor, and there are three floors, so there's plenty that we didn't even have time or energy to explore. But I recommend it if you're looking for something for young children to do! They'll be entertained for hours. It was kind of crowded, though. Probably due to it being during a holiday.

Well, now I'm back in my apartment and I return to work tomorrow and normal life. The Phoenix family is in town until Thursday, but I said my goodbyes tonight since I won't make it back over there anymore while they're here. I hugged both the boys and said I'd try to visit them sometime next year. I hope to be able to do that. We'll see.

Ok, wrapping up this long entry... goodnight!

SWEET!!

The package that was lost somehow arrived!! And the refund was already credited to my account... so I got it on time for Christmas, and now it's FREE!!!! How cool is that??? Yay, now my nephews and my niece have Christmas presents from their aunts and their uncle. :) I just had to share the good news!

And in case I don't have time to blog beforehand, have a MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!

Holiday Prep

How on earth did Christmas wind up on our doorstep so quickly?? It sure got here in a hurry.

Well, I think I'm all nice and ready for the holidays to arrive. The pumpkin bread is made, the presents are bought (and some are wrapped, even!), the vacation days are scheduled, and I'm just finishing up my work for the week so I can enjoy the six days I'll have free from it. My brother and his family will be coming in town from Phoenix on Thursday night, and pretty much from that point on until they leave, I will be spending most of my time at my house, hanging out with my nephews Brandon and Ryan and my niece Emma. This will be the first time meeting Emma for me, and she is already a year old, having turned so on 12/9. I'm anxious to get to know the kids better. (In case you were wondering, we pretty much decided to give up on that package that got lost. We'll explain to my brother and his wife about what happened, and if need be we'll get them a GC to Toys R Us or something. They'll be cool with it.) I will probably be spending several nights at the house, including Thursday, definitely Friday, Saturday, and possibly Sunday and maybe even Monday as well... it'll be like a family getaway for me. I'm definitely looking forward to it. I'm going to relax and take it easy as much as I can... when we're not doing excursions with the kids to the City Museum, the Science Center, the Arch... but those will be fun too. And I'm going to eat. A lot, I'm sure. (Hmm... I wanted to do some more baking, but I'm not sure I'll have time for that one...) I'll just try to give up worrying about the weight gain with a sound assurance that when the holiday is over, I'll hit the treadmill again and just take it off. In a couple weeks no harm will be done. Right? Right. :)

Tomorrow, my last day at work before the Christmas holiday, I have to work a late shift from 11:30 to 8:00 (we started staying open until 8:00, and so they need people to work the late shift from time to time.) That won't be too fun, but in the morning I plan to do a good workout (might be my last one before the holiday) and take a nice bath before going to work. The only question will be: should I use the Hot Toddy, or the Christmas Cracker? (Hm, that one appears to be out of stock... glad I got it while I could!) Or neither and opt for the Two-Timing Tart? Choices, choices!

Need Advice

I'm too busy right now to do much about this, but something's gotta be done. After all, one week from today is Christmas Eve and I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed and worried that I won't be able to do anything about this...

Ok, here's what happened: I ordered baseball merchandise for my niece and nephews in Phoenix: some Tshirts for the boys and a cute little onesie for my neice. I placed the order BEFORE THANKSGIVING, thinking I was so good for being ahead in the game. So I waited for the order to show up. And waited. And waited. And waited. Never came. So I finally tracked the package this week (ok, so I'm partly to blame for waiting so long to try to find out what happened), and saw that it was "delivered" on November 27, but I hadn't received a damn thing. So I contact USPS, which was listed as the mail carrier for the MLB shop. They forwarded the matter to my post office. Of course they knew nothing about it and all they could suggest was that I talk to the guy who actually delivers our mail. I knew he would NOT remember anything about a package on Nov. 27. So, I called up the MLB shop to ask if there was anything they could do. The nice lady looked up my order and said that it had been delivered, just not to my address. So I said "What can I do???" She said "Well, I'll put in another order and have it rushed to you, at no extra cost to you." I said, "Sounds great." Turns out that two of the items I ordered were out of stock. All they had were jerseys and other things that were more expensive than what I had ordered. I said I couldn't really make a decision about what to do until I contacted the other two people who were helping me with all of this, so all I had her do was place a claim to find out where MY package went, with a faint hope that maybe it could be found and rushed to my apartment. I doubt it's going to happen though.

So I'm going to have spent $45.00 on the kids and have nothing to show for it. And it's not even my fault. Why didn't these people call me before when my package was shipped to the wrong address??? I can't really call them up and complain now, because I should really scream at them, and I can't do that at work. And I'm too busy anyways. I'm trying to finish two days' worth of work in one morning. Does anyone have any suggestions about what I should do in this situation??? Please help!!!!!!

The Week in Review

Let's see, what's been going on since my last post a week ago... (I can't believe a week got away from me without a post here!)

• My Christmas tree is still pretty, even more so now that it has a star on top and several more ornaments, thanks to Kristen and the nice lady at Tracie's jewelry party last night. Now it looks like it has little crystal icicles on it. Pwitty.
• My Christmas shopping is done!! I have bought for everyone that I plan to buy for (who knows, I may pick up one or two more things if I feel like it...) and now all I have to do is wait for some packages to arrive in the mail, so I can finish Christmas wrapping. I have begun on a couple and there are already a few packages under our tree (in blue and silver paper, of course).
• I have a new cellphone! It's a flip-phone. I switched service and got a cool new phone for $10. It's nothing TOO fancy, no picture-taking capabilities or anything like that, but I have wanted a flip-phone for awhile and now I can cross that off my list. The number is the same, in case you're wondering.
• The new Llywelyn's Pub in Webster Groves is really cool. Try the shepherd's pie. Yum yum!
• I mentioned a jewelry party a few bullets up... I had a great time at Tracie's, and I am currently planning my own for February 10th. Mark your calendars! I want to see everyone there! You all know that I am "Über-Hostess," right? :)
• This is my last week of classes until next semester... hooray!

Okay, that's all I got for now... hopefully next time I'll have something more creative or insightful to say, instead of "What I Did This Week"...

Christmas Tree

I decorated my tree last night. It is SO PRETTY! I put silver garland all around it and hung blue and silver ball ornaments on it. Now all I need is a star for the top (Target had one that now I wish I would've gotten, because it was blue), and it's all set. I got the white glittery cloth for the base, too. What would REALLY look nice under the tree are some wrapped presents, tied up with blue and silver ribbons... :)

It definitely brings some much-needed Christmas cheer to my apartment... now I'm almost excited to go home and sit in front of my pretty tree, with some eggnog and Christmas music playing...

Post-Dog Weekend

I'm surviving my new life without Jax. The apartment has been sort of quiet, but I've been able to manage it well. I look around the apartment and I think of the memories from every little corner, every part of the room, the kitchen, bathroom, my bedroom, hallway... memories are everywhere. But I'm dealing with it well. In time I'll look back on my life with Jax with a smile, rather than a heavy sigh. I did a lot this weekend to help me cope with it all...

First, I went to a holiday party with Tracie, for her work. It was held at The Coronado, which is a gorgeous facility that used to be a hotel. Now it's mostly for banquets and meetings. Very posh. People walked around with appetizers offering them to us. Everyone was dressed nice. Dinner was fantastic (except for those cooked vegetables... ick). And we danced a little too. ("California Love...") :) I had a great time and it was a good way to get my mind off Jax for just a little bit (except when they started playing "Sugar Pie Honey Bunch," I had to leave the dance floor because I used to call Jaxie my Sugar Pie).

Anyways, after that, we had to meet Kristen and Janice to head off to Ste. Genevieve with Kristen's friend Eddie. Eddie is from Ste. Genevieve and was going back there to sing for the town's lighting of their Christmas tree. So we went with him and stayed at his parents' country home outside of Ste. Genevieve, along a dusty gravel road, with cows and barns and the whole country bit. When we got there on Friday night, it was about 11:30 or so and the stars were just brilliant. We stood outside gazing at them until it got too cold and we had to go inside. We had a little slumber party together, sleeping on couches and mattresses, and awoke the next morning to Eddie making us biscuits and gravy (from scratch!) for breakfast. Oh man was it ever wonderful. Then we got ready and headed into town, shopped at some little stores, visited a winery and sampled the wine, wandered around some more, met the World Champion of Footbag (hackey sack.. whatever you want to call it)... very interesting lady. She ran a jewelry store, selling all her handmade jewelry and sculptures and glass jars and lots of stuff. We became entranced with the idea of renting out a little house like she has, operating a business like that. Apparently it's VERY CHEAP to do it in Ste. Genevieve. She practically makes money just by living there, because she rents out a room in it to someone else who pays her more for rent than the payments she herself makes on it! Anyways. Very cool. Go visit Only Child Creations (I think that's what it's called) and she'd love to tell you about it!

We had dinner at a restaurant called The Anvil and then headed down to the Ste. Genevieve Interpretive Center for the lighting of the tree. Lots of the townspeople were gathered there to see it and sing some Christmas carols, and listen to a message from the mayor, and they recognized a prominent citizen of the town. They turned on the tree and... well, I wish there were maybe a FEW more lights, but it was cool nonetheless. I loved how everyone got together to see this. We got to hear a children's choir sing some carols, and then the high school choir did some (they were VERY good) and then Eddie sang some songs. Then after the people dispersed, we hung around the keyboard awhile longer singing carols along with Eddie and his parents. That was SO cool... we felt like streetcorner carolers (well, we WERE!) and we sang harmonies and everything... I think we sounded pretty good! And we had such a great time with it. Eddie's parents are VERY cool.

Then we were going to head off to a little pub, and on the way we stopped at a house that Eddie had helped to renovate. We knocked on the door while singing "Joy to the World," and the woman who lived there, Yvonne, finally answered and we did the whole caroling bit. Hee hee. So quaint. She invited us in and had us sing one more song, "O Come O Come Emmanuel." It was so great. Then she invited us to look at the house, and Eddie showed us around (GORGEOUS! What a cool house. It was I-don't-remember-how-old, only that there are only five houses in North America built in that style, and three of them are in Ste. Genevieve.) Someone help me with the name of that style. It is something in French. Anyways. Then she served us drinks, and well... we ended up spending the rest of our evening there, just chatting with her. I think it was 11:30 when we left. I felt bad for infringing on her time and being there so late, but she was just wonderful about it, hugged us all goodbye, and we left there feeling like we'd made a new friend. We will definitely visit her again if we ever return to Ste. Genevieve (and I'm sure we will).

We drove back to St. Louis, and I had to drive back home from Tracie's, exhausted, but glad I had a good time.

On Sunday I went to Target and bought myself an artificial Christmas tree. It is a "northern spruce" and it is 6.5 feet tall (at least, that's what it says on the box... doesn't look that big to me). It has white lights on it. It is just perfect. I was so happy to find it; it was the last one they had for that price (on sale for $49.99!) so I jumped on it. Then I bought some blue and silver ornaments because I want to decorate it all in blue and silver. (Except they didn't have hooks! I will need to get hooks to hang them up.) I like Christmas trees that have a color theme. "*GASP*" you say, "Why isn't it PINK??" Hee hee. Yes I love pink, but pink would look weird in my living room. That room's primary color is blue, so I'm decorating the tree in blue. Blue is my other favorite color, anyway. :) I set it all up and plugged it in, and just fell in love. It looks so pretty in my apartment. I can't wait to get more decorations for it, and a star to put on top, and a white cloth to wrap around the base, and I'd like to get a manger scene to put underneath it... It definitely cheers up the apartment and helps to ease the loneliness. Now I don't mind being in my apartment as much, with my happy tree gleaming in the corner.

Okay, time to wrap up this huge post. Thanks for hanging in there and reading the whole thing, if you did! Time to get some work done... and I still have to set up my little Christmas tree that I have at my desk! That's always fun. :)

Memorium

JAX

OCTOBER 2, 1994 - DECEMBER 2, 2004

Jax was put to sleep about 9:45pm last night.

I got a page from the vet while I was in class, and when I called him back, he said that Jax was vomiting blood. He didn't think he would survive the night. So he offered to meet me at the office and make a final decision. I called my sister and she agreed to meet us there. I drove there as fast as I could, just so worried that he would pass away before we could get to him. The thought of him dying alone in that cage without getting to see us one last time was too much for me to bear. When I got there, Jenni and Jason were already there, and we waited together in Jason's SUV for the vet to arrive. Seemed like forever waiting, not knowing if Jax was still alive or not. When he finally showed up, he let us in the back door and we went to see Jax... thankfully, he was still alive. We held him and cried and cried and cried... said our goodbyes, and when the time finally came, I held him in my arms while Jenni petted him on the head and finally he drifted off. After it was all over I continued to pet him and say goodbyes, using all my little nicknames for him, while my sister had to leave the room and be comforted by her boyfriend. It was a good way for him to go. I am so happy I got to hold him while he fell asleep. I think that's why I'm doing strangely fine about it today. I'm glad we got to him in time and got to say goodbye, I'm glad we were in the vet's office alone without other patients there so we could have our moment with him, I'm glad he didn't have to spend the night all alone in that cage, and I'm glad he drifted off peacefully instead of something else horrible. He is no longer suffering and he can be at rest now.

The apartment will seem pretty strange to me for awhile. When I got home last night (I went to Tracie's for awhile first, cause I didn't want to go home just yet), I felt a strange numbness. I wasn't that sad, just sort of empty. I set up a little memorial to Jax on his little pillow on the couch, with his collar, leash, and green squeaky ball. I could have started cleaning up some of his stuff at that point, but I was too tired and now that I was finished taking care of Jax, it was time to start taking care of myself... so I just went to bed. Woke up this morning and felt....ok. I missed him, but I know I'll be alright. It was his time.

So goodbye, Sugar Muffin. Goodbye, Schnookums. Goodbye, Sweetheart... I'll miss my baby dog.

Long Night

Well, I may have spoken too soon in saying Jax was better. He only seemed better when I went to see him. Apparently when my sister picked him up, he was back to being sick. He was still sick when I got home from class. (Thankfully, she and her boyfriend were there watching him while I was in class, cleaning up after him.) He was sick all night. ALL NIGHT. I couldn't leave him alone for more than a few minutes... much less go to bed. I finally got in bed around 3 or so, but still couldn't sleep continuously because I kept hearing him getting sick... so needless to say I'm very tired today. He's back at the vet now and they're starting him back on the IV. I'm wondering if I should leave him there tonight because that seems to be what I should've done last night. I felt horrible for him. This morning he actually took a few sips of water and managed to keep it down. So that was good. Hopefully he'll do better after being on the IV all day today... yesterday he was only on it for a few hours, so we'll see what this does, and I may decide that he needs to spend the night so he can stay on the IV all night. They can keep it in him all night, but there will be no one to check on him... that's the only thing that scares me. If he can just sleep through the night, that's great, but I don't want him being lonely and needing to go outside and cold... those cages don't look very warm. So I'll talk to the vet today and see what he thinks. But then again, this is the same vet who said his dehydration seemed like "no big deal" Tuesday night. I'm sure he'll have changed his mind now...

Back Home

Jax seemed to be a lot better when I visited him at the vet. He had an IV in his little paw and another cone collar on, because apparently within 10 minutes after the vet put it in, he started trying to chew it out. When I came in, he started getting all excited and whining because he wanted me to take him home... awww. :) So I held him for a little while and he seemed to have a little spunk back. So that's good. Apparently the IV helped a little. When I had to put him back in the cage, he started crying and trying to crawl back into my arms... poor little thing. My sister picked him up at closing time, and now he's back at home... so we'll see how he does tonight. Now he's got some fluids in him, and hopefully that will last him the night. I'm bringing him back in the morning to put him on the IV again. Hopefully he'll get back up to the point where he can actually start eating and drinking again. That's our goal. If seems to only function on the IV, there's a more serious underlying problem, and the only way to find it is the ultrasound, which I'm still not all that sure I want to do. So anyways. For now he seems to be better, and I'm happy about that.

Thank you, everyone, so much for all your prayers and support. I felt pretty calm today given the circumstances, so I think they are helping. Oftentimes I forget to take time to pray about problems. I'll have to try to do that more often.

Turning Point

Talked to the vet - Jax is a very sick, uncomfortable, dehydrated little dog. She is not sure why he all of a sudden became this way, whether or not it's related to the problem with his prostate or cancer at all, and the only way to find that out is to do an ultrasound. That would be the best way to find exactly what the cause of all his sickness is. But it would cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $300. Basically, it comes down to two things: either he is treatable or he's not. If he's treatable, it could be some really bad infection somewhere, possibly in his kidneys or bladder, or who knows. So I opted to go ahead and assume that it's treatable, and do all we can to help him. If he doesn't get any better, then we can assume that it's not treatable and then do what's most humane for him. I'm fine with that decision. So right now, he's on an IV to get some fluids in him, since it's the only way he'll get fluids into his system, and some antibiotics to fight off whatever infection may be there. I'm still trying to decide if I want to leave him there overnight, but I'll talk with the vet some more about that this afternoon. I think if he's going to be sleeping somewhere without an IV in him, it'd be better to have him at home where he can at least be in familiar surroundings and I can keep an eye on him. If they can leave an IV in him overnight, I'll leave him there. I'll be lonely without my puppy though...

I am being as realistic as possible about this. It is very possible that in just a week, or even a few days from now, I may not have a dog anymore... but at least I can prepare myself for that as best I can. Saying goodbye is never easy though.

Doggie ER

(Sorry if my Jax updates depress everybody. It's easiest to do it this way.)

Well, he's back in the hospital again today. Last night the vet seemed to think his dehydration was "no big deal" and gave him more Prednisone pills. Well then I wish he had been there to clean up all Jax's vomit this morning anytime he drank anything. And he won't eat anything at all, not even if I try to stuff it in his mouth, he just spits it out. So he CAN'T take the pills until he's feeling better. And he just lies there and shivers and whines. So I called the vet this morning, and they said his regular vet won't be in today, but his wife who is also a vet will be in at noon. But she said to go ahead and bring him in, and she'll watch him all morning for me, give him some water, take him out, and try to get him to eat. That was better than leaving him home alone, and I can't afford to miss that much work (although I'm pretty sure I'll have to leave early today to pick him up, and possibly be late to class too), so I think this works out best. The vet will call me when she gets in and looks at him. I'll let you all know...