Friday, December 03, 2004


OCTOBER 2, 1994 - DECEMBER 2, 2004
Jax was put to sleep about 9:45pm last night.
I got a page from the vet while I was in class, and when I called him back, he said that Jax was vomiting blood. He didn't think he would survive the night. So he offered to meet me at the office and make a final decision. I called my sister and she agreed to meet us there. I drove there as fast as I could, just so worried that he would pass away before we could get to him. The thought of him dying alone in that cage without getting to see us one last time was too much for me to bear. When I got there, Jenni and Jason were already there, and we waited together in Jason's SUV for the vet to arrive. Seemed like forever waiting, not knowing if Jax was still alive or not. When he finally showed up, he let us in the back door and we went to see Jax... thankfully, he was still alive. We held him and cried and cried and cried... said our goodbyes, and when the time finally came, I held him in my arms while Jenni petted him on the head and finally he drifted off. After it was all over I continued to pet him and say goodbyes, using all my little nicknames for him, while my sister had to leave the room and be comforted by her boyfriend. It was a good way for him to go. I am so happy I got to hold him while he fell asleep. I think that's why I'm doing strangely fine about it today. I'm glad we got to him in time and got to say goodbye, I'm glad we were in the vet's office alone without other patients there so we could have our moment with him, I'm glad he didn't have to spend the night all alone in that cage, and I'm glad he drifted off peacefully instead of something else horrible. He is no longer suffering and he can be at rest now.
The apartment will seem pretty strange to me for awhile. When I got home last night (I went to Tracie's for awhile first, cause I didn't want to go home just yet), I felt a strange numbness. I wasn't that sad, just sort of empty. I set up a little memorial to Jax on his little pillow on the couch, with his collar, leash, and green squeaky ball. I could have started cleaning up some of his stuff at that point, but I was too tired and now that I was finished taking care of Jax, it was time to start taking care of myself... so I just went to bed. Woke up this morning and felt....ok. I missed him, but I know I'll be alright. It was his time.
So goodbye, Sugar Muffin. Goodbye, Schnookums. Goodbye, Sweetheart... I'll miss my baby dog.

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Blogger Dirty Gypsy said...

I'm gonna miss him, too. I'll always remember how excited he used to get when I'd get to the apartment, yet he'd freak out if I try to pet him. He was such a complex puppy, no? :) And I remember the last time I was at your apartment: I laid on the floor to watch "Young Frankenstein", and Jax curled up next to me and laid down. That was nice. He was always a wonderfully sweet, goofy dog, and I adored him. He was my little buddy. He was, in the words of Doug Gartner, a "good bo-oy". :)

And thanks for posting the picture. I was going to see if I could scan in the pic I have of him here at the office, but now I don't have to.

12/03/2004 10:22 AM  
Blogger Tracie said...

I'm going to miss the little guy too! I agree Steph, he was always so excited to see me, but would jump away if you tried to pet him. Even when you knew he wasn't feeling well, he would still give you a great big Jaxie welcome!

I'm glad he is no longer suffering, but I'll miss my little Pikachu!

Kristi, let us know if you need anything. Especially hugs...I've got plenty of those!

12/03/2004 10:29 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Sigh. Ditto. I wish I had been able to say goodbye too. At least he had made himself comfy on my lap when I was last over watching Van Helsing. I couldn't even get up to get a drink or go to the bathroom. Strangely, he usually did let me pet him. Kristi's apartment will feel empty even to me.

12/03/2004 10:38 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12/03/2004 10:38 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

I am so thankful for wonderful friends. You guys are all the best. I like that you're posting your memories of him here... please continue to do so if you think of anything else about Jax that made you smile.

12/03/2004 10:41 AM  
Blogger Sean said...

When I read your email this morning about Jax, I couldn't help but to tear up, as I know how much he meant to you, how much a part of your life he was. I'm thankful that you were able to be there, to comfort him as he passed on. You're in my thoughts, and I hope you are able to move one peacefully. I'm here if you need another ear to talk to.

12/03/2004 10:45 AM  
Blogger Tracie said...

Ok, here is another fun Jax memory. I love how he would play games with us. And I don't mean fetch or something like that. Jax's favorite was to get one of his bones, hop up on the couch, knock the bone off the couch, and then sit there and whine till you picked it up for him. Then, he would almost always immediately knock it off again.

The great thing? We ALL indulged him in this game. :)

12/03/2004 11:01 AM  
Blogger Dirty Gypsy said...

Tracie - that cracks me up, because he would get me EVERY TIME. I'd be chillin', watching the baseball game or something, and he'd hop up next to me. I'd pet him, then I'd hear him start whining. I'd ALWAYS say, "What?" Then he'd stop for a second, and start up again. And again, I'd say, "What?" After going 'round like that for a minute, I'd finally realize that his bone is on the floor, and I'd go, "Oh! Okay..." and give it to him. Lather, rinse, repeat. It was like I was always surprised that he dropped his bone, so I assumed that when he starting whining, it was for something entirely different. Ah, Jax, I should have known better than to try to match wits with you! Heh. :)

12/03/2004 11:21 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

Steph, I liked how you would always call him Sugar Britches. I started calling him that too. Maybe it was YOU that led me to use all those goofy nicknames for him!! Heehee.

12/03/2004 11:30 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

I'll miss how before he'd go out on the deck, he'd check to make sure the screen door wasn't closed by waving his little paw in the air.

And how he would wash his face like a little cat.

And I'll miss my walks with him and how everyone would tell me what a cute dog he was when I passed people on the street.

And how I'd drive to my parents' house with him and he'd get so antsy when he knew we were getting close to the house, and make all these hilarious whining noises when the car was stopped, waiting to hop out of the car and go in the house.

And how he would look at me expectently whenever I had some food, especially macaroni & cheese or tuna.

And this hasn't happened in a while since he started having accidents, but I missed how he'd curl up next to me on the bed and go to sleep.

12/03/2004 11:34 AM  
Blogger Dirty Gypsy said...

Oh, yeah! Sugar Britches! :) I could NOT remember that earlier. I knew that I always had one name that I called him regularly (even though I think I called him everything under the sun at one time or another!), and it's like a had a mental block. So I'm glad you remembered that. :)

I was also just sitting here thinking about how much I loved Jax's attitude. He was such a smart-ass. He'd come up with his ball, drop it in your lap, and whine for you to throw it. Then, once you did, he *might* bring it back to you. If you asked him nicely. Heh. Or if you didn't throw it to his satisfaction, he'd just ignore the ball completely and go on to something else, as if to say, "Geez. Learn to throw a ball, would ya??" Or if you tried to goad him into fetching, he'd look at you like, "Screw you. YOU go get it." He was just a funny, funny dog.

I'm heartbroken that he's gone, and I will miss him like crazy. I know that doesn't even compare to the loss you feel, Kristi. I just hope that someday you'll be able to come back to this blog entry and read it with fondness instead of sadness. I know it will take time, but eventually you'll get there. And like Tracie said, there are plenty of hugs to go around. **HUG** :)

12/03/2004 1:03 PM  
Blogger Jaime said...

I'm sorry to hear about your doggie. You're in my thoughts.
Jaime D

12/03/2004 9:10 PM  
Blogger Craig J. said...

Thank you for being with us, little Jax. Rest in peace .. we'll never forget you.

12/05/2004 2:02 PM  

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